In the Garden of Eden, everyone was naked. 

Then, they ate the fruit, God kicked them out, and they had to wear clothes. 

Prayer at a church requires clothing... (scandals aside)

So, modern prayer instantly requires you to void the ability to connect with God in exchange for a medium. I don't like it. So, lately I've gotten naked at home before praying a few times. No impact noticed so far, but I like it. :)

In the Odyssey by Homer, Odysseus and his men find an island of a witch. If I remember correctly, she transforms some of his men into animals, and he eats them. Ever since I had that thought, eating meat seemed tough.

Seeing the photos in the Epstein Files of actual human bodies prepared for meals makes me think I shouldn't eat meat ever again. 

Vegans may still take it too far. 

My first true idol was Sir Lancelot. He was the best king's best warrior. 

However, Lancelot was an internal threat. As I got older, I realized he wasn't the best warrior. He was the most evil threat. He abused the trust of the greatest king to steal his kingdom instead of working to build his own. Sadly, there are more Lancelots than Arthurs. 

To this day I have never even held the hand of a girl any of my friends are dating or have dated. If I know a girl is in a relationship, she is inert to me. 

Once I create my kingdom I'll likely be polyamorous and polygamous. I guess I'm a slut? 

I may have been known as a "dork" in my younger years. Shocker, Amirite? 

I remember pure disdain when people said hemp was a miracle product for textiles. I thought it was just justification for recreational weed, which was clearly reprehensible behavior... you know... enjoying life? Such selfish behavior. 

Anyways, what if that's real? What if hemp or whatever it's called, is a stem that is useful for all durable goods from clothing to construction, and its flower is a miracle cure for almost all diseases? 

Given the dystopia we may be in, seems plausible.

I do not want to encourage drug use, especially if it's illegal where you live. However, if it's legal for you to try it, and you've had a bad experience in the past, perhaps it was a bad strain, or bad company, or bad timing. Next time, create your Happy Gilmore happy place and try a strain for euphoric feelings. Sativas are my favorite... but... Indicas are great for working out. A body high while doing yoga is the bees knees. I want to open a yoga studio in Colorado and have a 4:20 hotbox class instead of hot yoga. I call stoned yoga: Stoga. I feel like everyone will be on time. 

After I got out of the military, I was on this date and E who loved to wear heels and she tripped going down the steps. This girl was just curls, eyes, boobs, and the perfect voice. Gasp, this is not a domestic abuse story. Maybe it was deliberate because she was always balanced. But, My knees were so fucked I had both hands on the railing and didn't even reach for her, just glanced over my shoulder. She caught herself and didn't fall. Someone had left a few buds at my apartment before flying out of town, and I decided to smoke and try yoga for the first time. Bending my knees just 30 degrees was excruciating. I'd given up as painkillers made me sick. I got into a habit of smoking at doing "yoga" which was really just advanced physical therapy. It became addictive and I only let myself smoke before working out. I've worked out all my life. It's boring. But smoking makes everything fun, even working out. I could've done it without weed, but weed made it fun. Diamond Dallas Page was doing a thing on yoga at the time. I was his fan as a kid so it was the last straw to give it a go. I gave away the book E gave me on yoga, only partly read. I read the theory part, but not the 400 pages describing the detail of every yoga pose ever invented. I think that was reasonable. I only kept the ties she gave me. They're just all my favorite ties because yeah... she had good taste except for me :)

Dream joint circles:

Living:

1: Willie Nelson

2: Miley Cyrus

3: Joe Rogan

4: Nate Diaz

5: Jack Carr

Historical:

1: Jesus

2: Stonewall Jackson

3: Leonidas

4: Gen. Norman Schwarzkopf

5: Jimmy Doolittle

Mythical:

1: King Arthur

2: Tom Bombadil

3: Diana Prince

4: Morgana

5: Santa

Buddha's teaching as I read them stated that once you start down the path to enlightenment, that you are then enlightened. 

IDK. I walked into the doorjam of the same apartment I've lived in for 6 months. I'm pretty sure I'm englighteninging wrong. 

I've heard women's senses change when they stop taking birth control, especially smell and taste. Maybe that's why I've been so unlucky in love. Also, maybe that's why fertility rates dropped? 

Women have had their eggs frozen for generations in hopes of having a family. How many have been siphoned from the pipeline? 1 immoral doctor can access how many millions of eggs? Which CEOs or business directors have access? Their buddies?

How many eggs have been sent to Epstein Island, or other biolabs? #caviar

Ryan Reynolds. 

Chris Pratt (TBD) If he's actually a SEAL, then the coincidences in our books are cultural, not theft and I apologize for sending so much shit his way. 

Tom Hiddleston

The Koch Family

Disney (I saw articles saying Ezra Miller has a sex cult, and Chris Pratt got James Gunn reinstated by Hollywood after he was kicked out for excessively offensive pedo comments). I feel bad for Milly Alcock being paired with those two social justice disasters. I'm a Milly fan, but I won't watch Supergirl. I'll be curious to see if Milly doubles down or removes herself from Disney in the future. Not that my fandom matters, but that's what it hinges on. 

Kathleen Kennedy

Dwayne Johnson (tbd)

Elon Musk

Chris Evans

Bud Light. I sent their Chief Marketing Officer a copy of my novel to serve as proof of quality of work. I asked them to hire me to make a commercial with The Gronk and either Pokimane or Zoey Deschanel. They did their Dylan Mulvaney promo ~3 months later. They should've listened to me. 

The older I get, the more I realize, almost everyone wealthy is a piece of shit. The wealthiest produce the least. Therefore, their wealth is likely due to their willingness to exploit others. If that's the case, you should avoid them as much as possible.

The 13th Warrior is a great movie.

I watched a documentary on drug gangs one day. They proudly boasted they were the 1%? or 2%? Of bikers. I liked that, because it shows that over 98% of bikers are just nerds out for a ride, Wild Hogs!

So, Hollywood, sorry for insulting you; but I am upset about the above trust fall failures. People who work in IP should respect IP? Every community has its 2% club. Biker gangs were just merchants competing against big pharma. I don't think they just stole from people? 

For the 98% of Hollywood that respected my investment, I hope to play bit parts in whatever movie you choose to make in the future, if you want to have a dork like me on set and hopefully let me add my input to my part.

I was being seen. I was showing you my work. Now you can choose if you wish to work with me in the future. I'm going to grow as a content creator, comedian, streamer, and tech tyrant. I plan to create a lot of opportunity.

I tell myself I have it when I feel fat as fuck. My dad played D-Line in college. I have fatboy genes.

However, I grew up watching G.I. Joe which isn't a normal male body image, and then got into WWF (why I'm talented at and default to talking shit), and action movies. I didn't know Arnold took roids when I was a kid. I assumed the WWF guys did, but Arnold was Mr. Olympia. I just always felt scrawny. 

USAFA has the honor code, but I don't think it's considered cheating to take hormones. That PT test is no joke. They have trash cans lined up at the finish line. The indoor grass was usually coated in vomit... that's tough to get out btw... The excuse I make for never earning the lightning bolts (Top 10% physically at USAFA) is that I didn't take roids. Yes, ladies, this dadbod is all natural. 

(You are allowed to fail 1 event in the PFT and still pass as long as you earn enough points. I am quite proud of my 2nd semester firstie year 600 meter time.) Ok, I ingested like 5 tubs of creatine my Doolie year.

However, I know my buddy Patrick Parrish and all the dudes who had the lightning bolts, were better than me. I know this because I'd ask them for workout tips. Every single person that I asked for advice talked of diet. 

Anyways, steroids are just fake tits for dudes. In the grand scheme of the opportunity cost of cheating, imagine how many Americans lost generational wealth (Lou Ferrigno), or children developed issues, due to Arnold being Arnold. 

Sup PrattPrattPratt. My dad can beat up your dad. 

I try not to judge. I love it when people look down on me and seem to insinuate that I'm a failure while also not purchasing any of my products. At that point, it seems far more that they're sadists, and I avoid them. 

When someone laughs at me as a failure, but hasn't read my novel, or tried any of my products... 

When I explain how after seeing so much IP theft of my life work that watching movies depresses me now, usually the person I confided in immediately defends pedo hollywood millionaires while insinuating that my life's work isn't good and calling me a liar...

They say art mirrors reality. Recent history has shown that most writers aren't that good. So, what happened to masses of children? Red Light... Green light... is a children's game... What influencers suddenly appeared with tons of backing (possibly bots) with no previous history? 

Am I wandering aimlessly, or am I basking in the glory of achievement? 

Perhaps I just finished an autistic frenzy and am celebrating finishing something. I like to reset before going next. 

Modern jobs are just wage slavery for Israel to fund pure evil. Perhaps the only good thing a man can do is pursue happiness in this terrible world and disengage completely from mass society, enslaved by money, and willing to enslave the world for more of it. 

On top of that, if they're printing money digitally, literally just adding it to account balances, it seems like a waste of time to work for it by the hour. Nixon and the Goldwater Nichols act ended even the small value the fed added. 

Force me to work, print it for yourself, sure, but there's no point to saving it when there's $40T in debt of something that's nearly valueless and losing value daily. So, I'm debt free. Better than most of those "millionaires" that're in debt, whose assets are owned by someone else, or whose only value is the non-physical balance of overvalued assets in their online bank. 

My first time at the surf retreat I went like 10-0 in chess. They called me "the dominator." 

When I went back, they knew I was a stoner and met me with weed. I went 0-5 on that trip. 

Most people only see the most obvious injury from an attack. They don't necessarily see the 2nd, 3rd, or 4th injury until the 1st has been recovered from. 

Dax Sheppard once said that over 90% of childhood victims develop drug problems. I think this is used to look down on the victim. I always wanted to ask him, did he consider the person who abused the child also drugged the child without the child knowing? Perhaps the child was so focused on the crazy abuse, they overlooked the fact they were drugged. 

Old Dominion Networks is a business that created an early Internet Service Provider in Richmond, Virginia in the early 90s. 

Sometimes, dreams are just dreams. 

I dreamt that Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, was POTUS. He was going to start WW3, and for some stupid reason had me as his advisor. I told him if he wanted to, he'd have to kill me first. I fought back, and he did. They tossed my corpse into The Tomb of The Unknown Soldier, and I woke up. 

Silly goose, Trump's alreadying starting it. 

Currently, all cops are bad. 

They are empowered and armed to destroy. Police in Nashville have more weapons on them than I had in Baghdad 2007?

They have spent 200 years lobbying for empowerment, each expansion of police power being a violation of the right of the citizen. Now, cops are so empowered they can arrest anyone, anytime. 

Police training is how to arrest and destroy. Until politicians are arrested for illegal laws, police are only Epstein's thugs and human traffickers. 

Luigi Mangione may be a murderer. The DoJ has kept Luigi incarcerated for 3 years without a verdict. To me, that's more terrifying than a victim of fraud shooting his fraudster... and Luigi is guilty by eyebrow? 

Why don't drag queens that hate big corporate go to the Luigi trial with matching eyebrows and take that shit over? 

Tyler Robinson was likely a fall guy for the killer who got away. Have you ever seen a murder site turn into a construction site unless it was a cover up?

All cops are currently enforcers and backup for Epstein. 

NGOs are modifying our laws to strip police of pride, and police should be the grunts of the community. Currently, they're the grunts of the NGO. 

Until we enact meaningful criminal justice reform, ACAB. 

We need Andy Griffith, not weak people on power trips enforcing the will of an NGO. Hopefully one day I won't say ACAB anymore. Until then: ACAB. 

I tried to chat with a neighbor who's a cop. When we discussed 2A he told me Tn is so open carry that I can take any weapon out in public. I disagreed and checked and Google said he was wrong. Am I wrong, or was he trying to get me shot? 

#ACAB

I have no family I wish to make proud. 

I think my country is a force of evil. 

I would love to achieve success, but we're on the verge of total economic collapse.

So, I'm going to try to enjoy life for once instead of working to create an asset for someone else to steal and destroy. 

IDGAF. 

White People.

America was great. Western Europe was the example to the world. Now, we fund our own destruction. The absolute stupidity of taking from the few people trying to build a good world, and giving it to the people trying to destroy it, will be lost to history, just as all the deaths in the Gulag Archipelago.

I am convinced that God is real, but so is satan. satan is in charge of every part of this world. It seems everything I was taught about the holocaust was actually done to white Christians.

I am working on a set about religion. I am also studying warfare. The first step to the worship of evil is obfuscating what is evil. People live naturally but manmade laws/lessons call it a sin, and demand punishment. The result is the person living naturally believes they're a sinner, while the person destroying life believes themself to be moral. 

We're $40T of fake money in debt because we print it and give it to evil?

We enslave entrepreneurs (drug dealers) who sell "immoral" products, but steal taxpayer money to fund israeli genocide and big pharma?

It's better to sacrifice everything to save an evil soul than to help good?

Evil loves to attack Christians because a Good Christian is both trusting and non-violent, which is the perfect victim. Once we're all gone, all you've got left is battle for the greatest evil. God works in mysterious ways, and perhaps this is one of them. 

We live in a world of abundance but our leaders fight over manmade scarcity because they have no vision or work ethic.

Instead of jumping on the sword, lead by example. Soon Russia may be the only white Christian nation left on Earth. 

My family likes to brag about all their charitable donations to global NGOs.

The entire value structure of the world has been perverted. I'm here for it. I look forward to disappointing my family, disappointing my country,  and disappointing life. 

In a world of "safe spaces" everyone gets one, except white people. 

Racistly: There are shit whites. But by and large, America was founded by White Christians seeking to escape persecution. The country founded by those white Christians became a beacon to the world. Any black Christians converted due to influence as it's not native to Africa (or Europe). Our modern oligarchs seek to enslave America to those old world forces. Modern black people went from the cool badass to just hating all white people? At this point, I try to judge by values. Christians are trying to create Good. I don't care about race, I care about values. Most countries are not exporting Good. America isn't either anymore. But I always say the one detail everyone overlooks when they insult the modern black community in America is its downfall directly correlates to the rise of Islam within its ranks. Also, Jesus was likely Palestinian so I don't know how all that fits? 

Since all my veteran friends have some sort of VA benefits. And active duty are on the government dime. Technically all American servicemembers past and present are technically communists defending capitalism while insulting communists.

The rich are rich because they hoard. 

The irony of the world being measured in net worth, is the assumption that everything can be bought. Slavery is outlawed, but you all still discuss a person's auction house value. 

Congratulations on accruing the most jew points. 

Someone hires me to help them, then ignores my instructions, and fires me for insubordination when things start going poorly. 

The only job where I've been paid and felt like I didn't earn my keep was Robert Egerland's contract with BofA. (My 2nd time there of 2)

Again, what is sad to me is all the judgement calling me a failure. I'm asset light, but debt free. I think I'm doing pretty well given all my products have failed in spite of me going all in on them and selling out my entire life savings to create and market them. I also think if an economic collapse happens, I prepped to date/recover after the collapse. 

Most people are the opposite of what they present. 

Donald Trump presents that he's America first.

Elon Musk presents that he's about free speech and should consult me on how to fix his shit policies. Lawyers and HR can't innovate. Don't let them run your business.

Most women present themselves as virtuous. At least nobody is touching an Onlyfans/Camgirl. 

Bill Gates presents himself as a healthy innovative philanthropist.

Privacy policies outline what parts of your privacy they're violating. 

I present myself as sexually attractive to women.

I think the best movie depiction of a character that closest resembles me would be Rick Moranis in Honey I Shrunk the Kids, minus the smoking hot wife. 

GWoT vets are quiet about GWoT. Yeah, I've been out a long time, but the war just ended three years ago. 

I try not to talk smack about my ex-fiance. 3 years were great, and her family was awesome. She took me to see Pearl Jam when I got home from my TDY. 

In-spite of my senior year quote middle finger to USAFA for all the abuse (I was on probation and confined to the cadet area for like 3.5 of my 4 years) it's best the place in the world. I was planning on a career. However, that Pearl Jam rant by I guess Eddie Vetter was not just the last straw but a big hammer in getting me to get out. I'm glad I didn't spend all my life in the desert.

I spent 4 weeks total in the Middle East. I probably would've gone back if I hadn't gotten out. The book FOBBIT did a perfect job illustrating the insanity of wartime decisions and how easily the jihadis could kill specific American soldiers on bases integrated with the population instead of defensible positions.

Glad I survived and I thank Pearl Jam for getting me out, but survivors guilt is a thing. I still can't understand half of the lyrics to Pearl Jam. Pretty sure he sings in Latin?

PS: One Chief before my deployment/TDY rallied up the squad to bet me I wouldn't shave my head. It got up to 3.5 cases of beer before I did it. It was a fun pre-deployment party. I wonder if shaving my red-hair prevented a few snipers from... Thanks, Chief Frank Dannals.

My life is really good except for my own bullshit. I need to be more grateful. 

However, when I pray I usually pray for 4 things: Book sales, women, weed, and world peace. You be the judge. 

I was told I should pray and a winged hussar shieldmaiden would fly into my window. Did I misunderstand the plot of Animal House? 

I'm a wantrepreneur. 

But I remember the contract I was on, I was responsible for over $2M in revenue and paid less than 100k in annual salary. When I asked for a raise, I was given a raise less than the tax increase of the year, and less than inflation for the year, with a comp still under 100k. 

My boss complained about his problems and how one other PM had nearly $500,000 in medical expenses annually on top of salary. Insurance is a scam. That manager managed one of the most historically mismanaged programs in history. 

As I am unable to pay for the investments I wish to make in my entrepreneurial dreams, I take solace in the fact that she got to write off her therapeutic massage while failing in her job every day. 

I know I'm replaceable. 

I've dropped into guard vs. a 700 lb white belt. 

I'm not the best dev, I use their SDKs. 

I've had two beautiful black women sandwich me on a dance floor at a bar outside Maxwell AFB and my feet left the floor for a good bit. 

I'm not the best at math, I use their formulas. 

I've had Fearless Caleb Ball gently place me on the mat instead of pile driving me after a takedown even the Flash wouldn't see coming.

I'm not the best leader, I use their techniques. 

I've boxed at USAFA and had to get my teeth fixed. Those Wing Open scraps are scraps and I didn't go that far. 

I'm not the best reader, but I read what wise men write. 

I had cadre that could do more 1 handed pushups than I could do 2 handed. 

I am slow in all the ways. My 400 time would be confused for a bad 600.

I'm clean but I never passed a white glove inspection.

I've lost 2 wars and know nothing I could've done would've changed the outcome. 

I once got my entire flight ~600 penalty repetitions for excessive goofball. We did every rep that day on the PT deck. 

Why do I seem annoyed? You're upset, and I'm not emotional enough. Is this a big deal? In my opinion, you are likely the problem.

Sorry, as a 25 year old I volunteered to lead a Presidentially directed mission over 6000 miles each way, through multiple hostile countries, with regular contact with the enemy while at the front, and completed the mission with zero-casualties, under-budget, and returned a week early. 

Reality is the NCOIC of the records management program needed a wingman. We'd settle at a base temp lodging. She'd handle the RM portion in 24 hours at each site and I'd to find us a hop to the next spot in that time. It worked well. 

Sorry that you spend more time whining about the problem than fixing it. 

I'm not racist. I'm prejudiced.

Most people who accuse people of racism, do so because they are racist.

I grew up in the South and always heard racist shit. 

I have many mentors who are black.

I have many non-white mentors as well. 

I obviously also have many white mentors.

All of my mentors are current or ex-military. I do not think I have a single individual I admire that isn't current or ex-military aside from Thomas Massie.

I am a veteran. My best roommate ever was a 250LB big ol' black NCO at Camp Sather. Values matter over race. However, oftentimes, people from your same home area have the same values, hence the ease of race being the variable to blame for those dissimilar to yourself.

PS: I am more defensive toward black people than ever before because the modern narrative is quite violent.

PSS: I have a set I need to deliver on my smile and the N word...

I don't listen to them anymore. If they come on, I turn them off. They live in America while talking shit because there's no where else to go, because of their politics. They are the American Idiot. 

Could I beat that entire band in a fight? 

I'm a HUGE fan. I always have been. Drop dead gorgeous blonde country girl with blue eyes that tries to treat people well? Fan.

Am I disappointed I didn't get a date after my letter? OFC. 

I was a bit over 30k in debt after my latest product failure. I'd just been fired from my latest contract and my dog died. I was a country song. The music industry group that supports Taylor's team hired me. After 1 year I had 10k in cash with all debts paid. 

I'm grinding with that cash now. I'm creating my future with the freedom that contract provided. When I succeed, Taylor will not be seen a my VC, but she and Jessie Halle definitely are. 

I walked off that site after the Pakistani jihadi remote worker they had running the project from Canada told me the project was failing because I was managing the team poorly while their entire IT team ignored my every input. As the lead analyst said: "If we'd done this your way from the start, we'd probably already be live." 

At some point you let people fail instead of carrying them to success. Fuck it. I also felt as though that jihadi and the program manager were actively trying to fail and blame it all on me, simply using me as an audit log generator while setting the useless pakistani to look like he was the only who who delivered, building him for a career in music while showing white bros can't do shit. 

You should've seen it. 20% of the project was analyzed as "unnecessary and cancelled" but marked complete by the program manager. I said we should delete it or mark it incomplete. Again, they imagined they needed to do something, then didn't need to do it, said work complete, and pakistani jihadi did it all? 

I requested we show the program that's 5% complete and behind schedule. The program manager required I show it as completed analysis and make it a 25% complete program with all credit for 20% of the 25% completion going to the pakistani jihadi who could barely speak English. When I met the dude on his site visit he complained multiple times to every VP about how Nashville cab drivers forced him to take a Bible. I never found out what he did with the Bible. If someone gave a koran that same imaginary treatment, I bet he'd be upset. Hypocrites are usually useless in more ways than just morally. 

Anyways, I saw it as being forced to hype that pakistani and set up another career beaurocrat to be deadweight loss while building my own gallows, so I decided to quit. Personally, I think that program manager should have every one of her projects/programs analyzed for fraud. I did my part btw. Before I left I sent Jessie and the CFO from the 1 contractor that listened to me my audit of the program :). I always wondered if they saw what I was trying to illustrate. Probably not. It's tough to believe the program manager you trusted for a decade was actually an insider threat.

Re Bible likely being a lie... When was the last time you had a white cab driver? Statistically unlikely bro. Next time you make shit up, make it real. America lost its morals long ago. Cabbies don't have Bibles anymore.

As I see the H1B scam and how most IT workers sent to America have fraudulent credentials, and work as scam artists; I understand so much of my time in corporate. 

At Lowe's, I had a permanent HR member assigned to me after 4 weeks. 

That HR chick loved me btw, because I treated her as a team member. A Marine Major tried to mentor me and he was shocked... I think he was jealous. Promote Eli Edelkind, but make sure you ask him to explain why he hates me first. 

I sat down with the HR chick 1:1 as soon as she was assigned to the team and explained every detail of the project, to include what the algorithms were intended to accomplish, better than the program manager, better than the analysts, and better than the sales people from the COTS company Lowe's used. I was not as good as the lead PWC consultant, and I told the PWC chick that to her face in private. I honestly forgot her name and I'll put it here when I remember it. Bangladeshi chick. By the time I was fired, I was better than her thanks to her mentorship and 1:1 tutorials she gave me. I asked for them btw. 

I wonder if the Indian analysts who never added value at Lowe's just immediately reported me. No wonder they never let me try my ideas, just like Taylor's IT team ignored every one of my suggestions for innovation. 

When everyone believes ya, what's that like? I wouldn't know. 

Best luck to her and Travis. I hope they write a great post-wedding album that tops the charts. Perhaps a duet? My wedding gift to her is that her husband has to try to be better than me.

Those aren't good odds, even with her at his back. I've made 2 IT products and they're still testing for the overdue release after telling me I'm wrong. They should've listened to me from day 1. That facility was superbly excellent, better than any site I've ever seen in all my site visits, in every way except the IT stack they hired me to improve. I failed?

PS: Red is my favorite Album, but Speak Now is a solid #2. The Taylor's Version only, OFC. I do miss her accent from the original Taylor Swift album.

Define Stupidity: Thinking you have leverage over an artist like Taylor Swift because you "own the rights to her products" when she's a singer, that sings every day, and just has to... sing again... the same thing she does every fucking day... and loves to do... to nullify all of your leverage. Really fucking stupid to try to create leverage, much less exert it. 

Define punk: Taylor's Version.

If I ever somehow become SECDEF or something, I will recall 2 of my former upperclassmen to active duty just to make them do pushups. 

PS: I have zero desire to ever be a politician or work in DC. A lifetime of meetings with people who are both overconfident in their importance and put effort into being vague? No thanks. However, I do want to be in a Presidential debate just so I can publicly destroy the candidates intellectually.

Everyone says to tailor your resume for the job. I usually get told to remove the "low class" jobs from my resume, like bartending, security, retail clerk, etc. 

Strange, maybe that's why I can write the code for the bartenders and store clerks, while the developers who look down on those workers, can't? 

But I'm the arrogant one, not the guy who never bussed a table but thinks he can write the business process for every job in the services industry, from a backlog?

Growing up my school employed a "special needs individual." His name was Claude. 

We'd all make fun of him behind his back. No one ever did anything to him or pushed him or anything, as far as I know; but, we all made jokes. I wonder if he was just trapped in a twisted body and unable to communicate but still able to understand it all. I wonder if he was always that way, or if something happened as an adult? 

Now, Claude is the BiS AI platform. Claude helps me code daily. Every time I use this tool of Hephaestus I am reminded of my childhood insults as I ask Claude for assistance. 

I deleted the IRL inspiration for the Redwood wall in my book. I doubt anyone read it. Every military unit has similar culture. 

Maj. Bill Walker might've been the first person to invite me to Jack Quinn's? He died in a "training mission" somewhere near Indonesia. 

There are many differences in how families are treated when killed in training vs. in combat. Medals, memorials, and money. Bill's name won't be etched on the USAFA memorial wall.

When a politician uses the law to hide what is happening, men die, and their families lose even the promise of pension or concern. The wife whose husband died training in Indonesia, vs. the wife of the man who died likely resupplying an indigenous force being persecuted by the government, backed by UN peacekeepers committing genocide to take over their tribal lands. 

I don't think LtC. Ben Visser makes the wall? Lt. Taryn Robinson isn't on the wall. She was dating one of my friends and joined us at Jack Quinn's to sing along. Capt. Marc McDowell is the only name from 2005 on the wall, I think. I hope it stays that way in all the ways. 

People have watched too many movies. Those Vietnam war era grads... I wonder how many names aren't on the wall? But I know my class, my alumni, and the rest of the USAF. They will continue to set the curve. You don't want none. 

I am very glad I went to the reunion. My only regret is that I didn't do memorial pushups. Cadet Parker taught me better than that.

I went to church last week. Good experience. 

I was running late, so I grabbed a Lime scooter. 

As I reached Broadway, the scooter died.

A cop car pulled up beside me as the scooter died. I do wonder if a shit cop used an electronic countermeasure on me, or if Lime just is that bad. The battery was full. 

I left the scooter on the corner, and Lime charged me $30 for the ride as it wouldn't let me end the ride where it was disabled. 

I ended up being late.

Fuck shit technology. 

#ACAB

How are suicidal thoughts considered taboo, yet Netflix had a show all about suicide? I don't have Netflix, I just heard about it a few years ago.

I've never made an attempt. I don't plan to. 

I've thought about it. I feel like how can you not? I was a teenager when Kurt Cobain killed himself. I think that was my first exposure. Now, they say that he might've been murdered? 

Then I say, naaa, my life's good and I have stuff I want to do. Hopefully life will get better. If not, NBD. Hopefully life won't get worse. If it does, I've always wanted to hike the Appalachain Trail. 

I just say this to say, at the open mic this week a few people's sets discussed suicide. I hope they don't do anything. 

My set discussed politicians that I dislike. That sentence was redundant. 

I think conversation is important, and not freaking out about something is the first step. Oh no, you had a thought. Well, clearly you haven't killed yourself, so it's not fatal. De-stigmatizing conversation is my goal here. 

Sometimes the reaction is worse than the problem. You know how shitty suicide would be? Probably worse than whatever is making you think about it.

Blizzard Entertainment used to be awesome. Then someone said the creators were offensive, and now we have body type selection instead of sex/gender and the login server disconnects every 30 seconds. Great job MSFT. 

HR is not only worthless, it is a negative value unless it's just dealing with the paperwork the government requires so you don't have to.

I didn't get past my HR interview at Blizzard. The HR employee laughed when I informed them proudly that my best game had only ~550 downloads and no active users. I was proud. It wasn't my hopes, but I'd hired a model, made my own marketing video, and promoted it globally. That HR person's ego is based on the art that their HR department destroyed. I told the HR person that if they hadn't downloaded my game, they're only judging me based on my marketing skills, and not my coding skills. 

I was applying for a job in dev. It was just an egotistical asshat flexing and wasting my time. 

I was interviewing for iOS dev roles with furniture companies that wanted to showcase paint on the walls of homes and allow their furniture to be displayed in homes. They needed augmented reality developers with plane detection experience. 

Interviewer: Do you have any experience with iOS dev?

me: Yes, I have 3 apps in the app store. 

Interviewer: Awesome, we need to put furniture in people's homes so they can envision what it would look like and pull the trigger on a purchase. Do you have any experience with that? 

Me: One  of my apps you can download for free right now is an Augmented Reality First Person Shooter. After testing plane detection I didn't use it as it wasn't effective for multiple 3D assets at once with spazzy game movements, but I have extensive experience with it and Reality Composer which you don't have listed in your job requirements but is the tool Apple uses to convert 3d files for use in their apps. If you'd like to try the app now, we can. 

Interviewer: No thanks. Do you have any experience with the app store?

Me: Yes... I have 3 apps... in the app store...

Interviewer: Do you have any questions?

Me: Do you want me to show you the 3d app that demonstrates all the skills you need that's already in production with Apple? 

Interviewer: No, we'll be in touch. 

That's why I don't waste time on jobs anymore. If I get past Bill Gates' proprietary, guaranteed to not be racist but H1B loves, algorithm. Linkedin is MSFT, I think? 

PS: In my first interview with Lowe's, I had just launched my first AR game that was REALLY REALLY... REALLY REALLY bad. The artwork was trash. But I was proud of a few of the algorithms. The interviewer, a West Point grad, played the game and just saw someone who knows IT. Maybe he understood the land nav component of the game and was impressed. I got fired so he probably regrets it :) But again, I got fired for, after waiting a year and watching and asking, saying I can do this better, cheaper, faster, and you'd own it without asking for a raise. I assumed once I showed them what I could do, I'd be promoted btw. I didn't do that on day one from a position of ignorance. I also never demanded resources. I just asked to be unleashed. 

They fired me for being the best. 

When I was offered the job at Lowe's, it included a perks package. While I was never going to succeed there, I do think their HR perks package caused me to hate working there.

They paid for my move. Great, but then I was beholden to their moving schedule. It's not that much harder to move stuff myself, and then I am tied to a moving liability for a year? I should've negotiated better, but the standard package shouldn't be a liability. You settle million dollar lawsuits with underperformers. Perhaps it's because you created the leverage in the first place. Just up front paying that move cost for 1000 employees negates 1 lawsuit. Your lawyers don't see it that way, because they make money when the bad happens.

Maybe most don't care, but to me it was the creation of leverage and made me feel sour on Lowe's from day one. Then go to the 30-60-90 day probationary period where they're testing you out instead of an investment period where they give you the skills they want... yeah... not the best culture. 

I am grateful for the VA, which is basically welfare for veterans. I don't think I'll succeed, but I'll keep trying. Going to the Va was me failing as a man, but I'm glad I did it. My buddy Von talked me into it for several years and I'm glad I listened before I got desperate. There's a homeless dude I see daily that looks like my old Lt. Colonel. That sucks.

With most traffic being bots these days, all things digital are fairly fake. Invest in content but not views. I think there's going to be a reset. Right now, I'm competing against bot views. I won't win that fight. Platforms will lose value as creators become the valued asset. Competition is king. But currently the entire economy is based on federal power and fraud. I'm surviving until the crash happens. 

All assets, even digital will be stolen. Some lawyer can argue something and remove a license, or send police to steal (Civil Asset Forfeiture exceeded theft last year). Just like Twitch has gone to shit; Apple Maps has ads now. Soon enough, all apps will have an Apple ad overlay to extract more money. Mr. Robot is truth. 

Why do I post my source code? Because I know as soon as I send it to Apple, someone steals it and shares it. Check their legal agreements. They can do whatever they want. No investment is safe.

Current police are evil.

They add zero value.

They destroy lives.

#ACAB

The worthless police that came to my home without a warrant were casing my life to see how they can attack and destroy me. I didn't chamber a round, but when I knew they didn't have a warrant, I considered it. I have since practiced. My buddies tell me to open carry and chambered at all times. Perhaps one day I'll listen to them instead of Johnny Cash. 

The fact they ran away, and the MNPD have rejected 3 FOIA requests, makes me think either they were civilian terrorists dressing as police, or police terrorists acting outside the law. Either away, they deserve to be hunted down and prosecuted. 

I grew up with cops that modeled themselves after Andy Griffith. I trusted police. The modern cop wants to act like a Green Beret in a movie, but Green Berets IRL are teachers. Why did the police that came to my door have more weapons and armaments than I had in Baghdad 2007?

You approach me, I react according to your demeanor. 

Woe to the person who comes to my home uninvited, or with an undeclared weapon. My military buddies show me their guns before they come inside, mainly because I want to see their new toy. I don't usually like being around "civilians" handling weapons. It makes me uncomfortable to see certain people's lack of respect for the weapon in their hands. 

When someone dies as a result of a self defense action, it's not killing or murder. That person died because they made bad choices and prepared poorly.

I'm fairly certain there are unsolved violent crimes in Nashville. I bet Nick Shirley could find a multimillion dollar fraud within a week here. Why are they harassing veterans? Or were they harassing me as a white Christian? That should be a show: where cops are spending their time while Nick Shirley saves America.

IDK. I do know one thing: All Cops Are Bad. #ACAB.

Fuck the police.

You want to know how your ancestors ended up as slaves or indentured servants and sent to the new world to work to death? They respected police executing the will of a politician over their own life. 

#ACAB

For the past few months there's been a steady stream of different, mostly black, pandhandlers outside my home. They're usually well dressed. They don't look like beggars, but they are. At least beggars are honest in their intentions.

They have signs for a charity, harassing me every time I leave my home with their guilt trip sales pitch. Every time I see them I think about the N word and it takes shape in my head beyond just the letter.

I only see them here to beg and extract wealth. 

They don't spend money. They extract value while blocking the community area (sidewalk) and making it harder for me to go about my day. If you study traffic patterns, 1 small tweak creates a jam. These scam artists are requiring payment. 

Fuck em. 

If they aren't cops, the city,  backed by police force, sells them a permit to exploit my home. #ACAB

If they're feds using a charity scam to lie about their intentions, they deserve only incarceration. Undercover cops, at their nature, will lie to their fellow man in order to void the citizen's 4th amendment protections against unlawful search and seizure and destroy their life. That's evil. 

That same cop that tickets the suburban family on summer vacation, will show up at their door to enforce the income tax, while clearing the road for an illiterate immigrant the state department said to give a license to. Why? Because the family won't fight back, while that indian scam artist... Fuck the police.

#ACAB.

If it's a legitimate charity, it's still bullshit. If they valued the cause, they'd go work on it, not come to my home and beg me for money. Why don't they sell that suit and donate the money, instead of asking me to take out a high interest loan (credit card payments only) for their cause? 

Think worthless feds are unlikely? Imagine the liberal who hates white males and has a badge: They can sit in Nashville at the W Hotel, take a per-diem to pay all expenses (FBI Per-Diem is $86 per day for incidentals in Nashville, not including lodging), paid salary, with benefits, and tell everyone they're fighting terrorism, all while violating my 4th amendment rights. My generation fought terrorism the way our President told us to, and now politicians calls us terrorists. How many radical feds target white Christians on the dime of white Christians? That'd be a great assignment. 

#ACAB

If someone steals the IP of a vet, is it stolen valor? 

It's truly pathetic the people who steal from me. Like, everything's free and public. Trying to steal from something that's free? Pathetic. Imagine if thieves and scam artists put that same effort into something of value. 

I guess India wouldn't be covered in feces, filth, and untouchables. Then, those Indian H1B tech wizards could test their products on their own streets, but they can't because their entire civilization is so trashed by their own policies and incompetence. Pathetic. 

How did Vivek get his start? 

The logic goes, to the victor goes the spoils. 

And the current world, it seems evil has won.

I would never create life in this world.

In Greek mythology, the titans are Zeus's children. They rose up but Zeus defeated them. I guess Ares and all those demi-gods are just a big family, like the Hapsbergs. They were really fucked up too, Poseidon specifically liked to rape the most beautiful virginal priestesses that were followers of Aphrodite. 

If you've seen "West World" on HBO, you were created to lose. You were created so the Gods could have something to amuse themselves with, and the Gods of this dimension are sadists. 

My current belief is to accept faith that God is beyond my understanding. I will not have a family because I do not wish to create an asset for evil in a universe that is evil. 

I will live according to my beliefs, and die when I die. I hope in the next life I'm in a better dimension/parallel universe. Perhaps this life is just a decoy to trap evil on this Earth, and then in 500 years, all evil souls will be stuck on this landmass, and the rest of the universal souls can frolic elsewhere in space/time. IDK. God is beyond me. Perhaps this world's incentive structure will realign?

Here's my plan: I'm going to lead by example as the Air Force taught me. I'll make good products that are morally viable according to my belief system. If I succeed I'll blow through my money faster than you can imagine. So far, my products have all failed. I guess my beliefs are not aligned with the Universe and the God of this universe wants me to fail, but that's not a surprise since I believe we're in Hell. 

I hope to make a ton of free software tools and put every Indian IT shop out of business. When you fucks starve on the street, I'm going to celebrate the end of your fraud. Imagine if you'd spent the last 20 years building your own country, instead of defrauding mine. Every millenial that can't work, has taken subpar wages, to be lectured by an Indian coworker using aggression to overcome incomepetence and fraud, should camp outside Marco Rubio's home until that worthless twat starts competing with Trump to deport the most fraudsters.

Before some dumbass cop knocks on my door and gets shot in the dick with bird shot: Hell doesn't have to be on fire. Look at life. There's just war, starvation, and a world government trying to find a way to make money off of it. Earth is sold by the foot, often by the hour, making mother earth just another whore of the NGOs. 

God's all powerful right? If this world was supposed to be Good, then God failed. If this life is the fight, then IDK. Either way, I want my rib back.

#ACAB

I pray every police officer and member of any world government, to include contractors, if they investigated me with the intent to punish me, even in the guise of saving me/helping me, may they watch their families die and then live long lives with themselves. The pig that commits suicide voids this curse for their family.

PS: If we are in Hell, I'm fucking here for it. You dumb bitches tricked a generation into Hell by getting the warfighters to fight an illegal war? That just means the best fighters the world's ever seen are aligned together in the place we're needed most. This is what we prayed for. Fuck you Hades. We train to fight in phone booths. We train to close on the enemy, and you brought us into your home. Hades doesn't stand a chance.

Always remember: Cupid can't shoot. Apollo isn't funny. Hephaestus can't code. Hera feeds Jerry Springer. Dionysis can't dance. Aphrodite is a stripper (I do love strippers). Artemis is a lesbian. Poseiden can't swim. Demeter can't cook. Hades is a pimp. Ares fights like my sister. Athena thinks I'm cute. When Zues gets pissed, he knows that his children are pathetic and mother earth has become a whore for hades. He'll atleast have to say that since beauty and humor are in the eye of the beholder, keeping me around has value so all his kids can see what they could've been if they just worked harder for 10,000 years instead of being whiny demigods. You had millenia, and I've done more in 40. Pathetic demigods.

The god of this universe is the devil and the pantheon of gods are his torturers. The first chapter of Britney's book is how her life often seems like Hell.

What if Iron Man practiced MMA?

I met all my best exes in bars.

I never gamed with an ex.

I guess that's why they're exes.

I also seem to have developed a fear of both flying and driving, so yeah. 

Hermit mode, engaged. 

IDGAF and I prefer being left alone.

Current plan : due to local law changes, when my lease expires I will leave Tn. Destination TBD. Before I moved to Nashville, my one reservation was that someone told me it was an alcohol only city. Broadway likes alcohol. I don't. I no longer will live somewhere where my form of levity is outlawed. Every day in Nashville I see more homless in more places. I see more businesses shuttered. Local politics is killing Nashville, and they just put out of business all 4 of my most visitied stores, including their supply chains. Those business owners have to either close their shop or go to jail. 

I moved here for the freedom and entertainment. It turns out neither exist here. I'm not from here. I'm just a Vagabond. Nashville is going to lose a lot of money since I'll be settling elsewhere. You can't hate politicians enough. I have a set impersonating Broadway I plan to do at my next Mic. 

There is not 1 woman that I value anymore. IDK. They devalued me first. Sad that the best thing some dudes accomplish is taking something from me. Pathetic. You could build, instead you take. Ishmael: The world is takers and leavers. I'm a leaver. 

I have my VA benefits so I'm planning to live in poverty until something hits. Those people whose businesses just got destroyed, don't have that luxury. The politician who created a law outlawing my recreation: that's inciting violence against me and every entrepreneur and business owner and customer in the space. May that politician, and everyone who paid them to turn citizens into criminals, be killed by police in their homes, and their families be eliminated from the gene pool.

BUT if you buy 10 copies of my novel and just hand them out, that's a month for me. Worst case in a year I'm 10k in debt and have an even better product portfolio than I do now... or WW3 happens. Best case, my novel starts getting a few monthly sales, my first responder app gains global traction and I go from broke joke to tech icon.

I whine alot, but the goal of this is conversation:

A good WoW Classic Hardcore deathlog last words, thigh gaps on strippers, the perfect political troll meme...

Or a stormy weekend with power uninterrupted and internet full stream...

The smell of Cinnabon at the mall, Chick-Fil-A sauce, and my avocado toast... 

These are a few of my favorite things. 

Hopping out of the shower to a fresh towel and boxers warm and clean...

When cute women preen or someone calls my jokes mean...

A new flower strain, comedic set that hits, or a fighter's perfect boast...

These are a few of my favorite things. 

A stream without an ads, tools without legal agreements, apps that're login light...

A rotary wing overwatch while engaged with the enemy, or new restaurant where the flavor has perfect bite...

Websites without cookies, H1B deportations, and when someone gives their effort utmost...

These are a few of my favorite things. 

When the police knock...

When the politician self-empowers...

When the IT is trash...

I simply remember my favorite things.

And then I don't feel so bad.