Culture is what's around you daily. I've learned most people have no idea how to do things the right way, because they've never seen it done the right way. The modern world is especially disconnected from reality, and excellence.

Most influence is virtual, not real.

Most influence is scripted, not real.

Most influencers are bots, not real.

How can you know what is right and good when the incentive structure has been perverted? Rule 34 applies to success.

As a result, most leaders are bad leaders. They believe good leadership is something they've seen in a movie, because that's where they've been inspired, not in real life. It's time to fix this.

I'll be making a services and contact page eventually. This is more a work in progress than most things I do.

Meathead Yoga

I will lead a workout session for a school team or other group, on a football / soccer field or a basketball arena / large conference room if they have mats.

I am not a yoga teacher. It's just a workout.

Professor Ballowe

Teach software development for 2 semesters to 10-20 senior students at an American college. The first draft of the syllabus is already done. I can start Fall 2026. I need no more than 1 week notice, but more is nice. USAFA, USC, Hawaii are my top 3 choices.

Preferred pre-reqs are Algebra 1, and creative writing / english 300. I also look forward to contributing to the first active shooter drill. My class gets to do its own thing.

If a school dean/principal/teacher/superintendent wanted to reach out on how to better protect their school from future school shooters, just reach out in my stream. You may be surprised at my price.

Math The Shit Out Of Something

Conduct business analysis.

I hear a lot of farms are going out of business. I'd like to take a shot at your books and business plan.

The Koch Family, clearly morons, fired me a few weeks after I gave a client solid advice. After a site visit to the Mendez family grocery store in Puerto Rico I pointed out to their COO that they had a waste product they were paying to dispose of that could be sold for profit. I never found out if he chased it down as I was fired. My termination specifically cited my poor performance. So, take my assessment with a grain of salt. Every other consultant on that client, to include Koch family members and their directors, could've made that assessment. I was the only one that did. My opinion is that the Koch Family should not be trusted and no one should work for or with them if they have any other option.

Lowe's: Thank you for all the lessons in corporate project management. However, when I told you your architecture was shit; I was right. You have an iPad at every store workstation, sitting idle, but spent $10M on prototype architecture and fired me for saying I could do it using the existing assets? Idiots. Keep hiring for diversity, H1B cucks. When I said it naturally scales with the business, it's because you'll already be buying iPads for each store... making your entire IT stack virtually free. How much money did you pay Seemantini, and how much more money did she waste? I-D-I-O-T-S.

Redneck Smash

Analyze a failing program run by multiple PMPs for multiple years and get it on track. I did complete The Contingency Wartime Planning Course in residence as a butter bar.

Includes hiring, training, and building a team for future sustainment as needed.

Call me before you go H1B.

I find it absolutely intolerably pathetic when I watch program and project managers, making retirement money, spending less time preparing for their career responsibilities, than World of Warcraft raid leaders for their hobby. The fact that the average WoW raid leader can manage a raid to perfection while PMPs stammer through introductions is proof no one should respect the PMP.

I did lead an ~15 player PuG to the 4th island in the Plane of Air on Everquest Xegony when it first launched and no one knew the mechanics yet. Kind of a big deal...

UI Consultation

I will sign up for your product or service. And point out what is done poorly by your business. Bring tissues.

Whole Lotta Nope

I don't like to work on other people's code. Sorry.

If you asked me to paint the Mona Lisa, even if you gave me a Picasso to start, I'd want to prime it first. That's redneck logic, and I don't paint. But, if you do want to create something from scratch, let's talk. Maybe I'll be interested. If not, I'll point you in the right direction.

It's Just A Collab

Let's make something together.

Initial idea would be contributing as a voiceover for a comprehensive GWoT documentary.

OOh: Jeff Bezos, call me. I'd like to explain how I'd like you to modify your S3 cloud database to enable me to make something.

I'd also forgive Kanye for firing me if he reached out.

I really want to make a new cashier front end for any bar/restaurant/store. I've worked as a cashier and bartender (everyone tells me to remove it from my resume). Perhaps I'd be a better choice than an offshore dev team and their salesman?

E-Sports Coach

I will haze the shit out of your e-sports team and turn you into champions. Likely will have a 75% washout rate. There will be tears and trophies.

I Don't Like Commitment

I'll be the dean of your private Christian based (not exclusive) college.

Modern Warfare

I'm not a Green Beret, but drones manned by assholes are the future. De Oppresso Liber. I earned a dark blue beret, pictured above.

Every time I see a front line soldier attempting to shoot a small drone with a rifle, I curse their general for killing that man.

You need 3 things: A shotgun, bird shot, and a ballistic shield. That's my wish list item btw, a specific shield. Bird shot was developed for shooting birds. Drones are like birds. Clip them and they're disabled and grounded. Birds you should put them out of their misery once you've done that. Drones, likely let them detonate remotely once downed.

Once you clip a drone, its controls wont work. It's effective because it gets a munition within a foot with no chance for jamming due to the FIOS cables. Fiber Optic Webs of death cover the front in Ukraine. Clip it, and shield up for the explosion.

Detect. Down. Detonate.

Once you figure out how to turn your phone's wifi signal into your own personal mobile radar, you can start hunting the drones that hunted you.

I want that Smith & Wesson 12 gauge as payment for my commercial in which after I unload with 4x 9mms that are also part of my payment, Sydney Sweeney steps in with the 12 gauge and American Flag bikini, I keep the shotgun, and saves the day while the camera gets great shots of Sydney firing the Smith & Wesson Drone Defender. #murica.

Rednecks, practice skeet shooting. You know how the term shotgunning beers got invented right? A hillbilly cousin shouted shotgun, drank a beer, and tossed the empty can in the air. Thirteen cousins shot the empty can before it fell.

I need to invent a stoner version to practice.

Fire And Forget

You could just sub my twitch stream. T3?

I'll never know who you are unless you tell me in stream.

I think my emote artwork is worth it, just for the ability to use them in other streams, and I plan to keep adding to it as I invest in my stream. People pay for emote packs... I think my stream sub is an emote product in addition to the in-stream benefits.

I don't do long streams, or even high quality streams; but, I do stream.

We Smokum Peace Pipe

After you smoke me out, I'll give you the 1 piece of private advice I think you need to hear the most. The new Apple CEO John Ternus should give me a call. I am a top content creator in his ecosystem.

Examples:

Jocko: Thanks for writing your Field Manual on Leadership. I'm glad I read it. So glad, in fact, that I've bought Extreme Ownership for myself to read in the future and have given out multiple copies over the years. Thank you for being a great example of military leadership. Also, huge fan of your supply chain. I hope to have my own empire one day, and seek to replicate your style. The only suggestion I have is from a position of ignorace as I have not attended your Echelon Front Musters yet. I hope to do so in the future. Do you include any direct hiring pipelines or invite representatives from the many veteran and active duty transition organizations into your Echelon Front seminars or post their marketing materials? I imagine many of the business leaders attending your seminars are looking to hire people of similar values, and you as the lynchpin of that introduction could work wonders. That'd be an easy addition to your impressive business but may also turn it into a circus. It's rude of me to suggest this, as it takes all the work of your entire consulting empire for granted. Always remember, Army and Navy, play for 2nd.

Justin Bieber: You probably had a lot done to you. You probably did things you thought were normal, because your mentors were leading you astray. I'd suggest taking a year, and telling your wife 1 thing each day. Give her that power. Don't give it to some therapist. Then, use your resources to start a music label. Find 10 talents, and give them to start you wish you had. PS: Let's make the next music platform together, whatever the fuck that is. I think that'd be a fun collab. Oh, and Biebs. I want to compete with your business manager in 1 very specific component of your future talent empire. Just a quick collab.

Pope Leo: You are publicly the #1 follower of God. That makes you the leader of Christians and I'm a fan of your words so far. I've disagreed with you, but upon reflection, you're likely right. I'll keep reflecting and likely layers of your rightness will appear.

Stop following your handlers and doing the same thing your predecessors did. Christianity has been attacked for 2000 years. Study war. You have been attacked most effectively by editors.

Hark, the herald, sing you beautiful Pope. Rejoice.

My demand for you is that you release 2 working publications to be finalized ONLY when you relinquish Popedome.

1: The Pope Leo XIV Bible. Updated for what you think is the modern edits, properly formatted, and presented in at least English, Italian, French, Spanish, Cantonese, Mandarin, Hindi, Russian, Polish, German, and whatever they call the Japanese language. Pretty sure the trump Bible has some foreign influence. If on your deathbed, the trump bible is more widely published than the Pope Leo Bible, you have failed as Pope.

2: An abridged layman's version of the core teachings, less than 10 pages. Leo's Lessons properly formatted, and presented in at least English, Italian, French, Spanish, Cantonese, Mandarin, Hindi, Russian, Polish, German, and whatever they call the Japanese language.

Just start it now, and just add a few edits each year until you finalize... I want to read both ASAP.

It must be hand written (then replicated) or it will not be trusted over time.

Get to work.

Apple: One day Apple will realize it's no longer unique. As Facebook is a software platform, Apple is just a hardware platform. Most platforms succeed based on their community. Facebook and many other current leaders are losing market share because they punish their community, and their content creators. Creating on a meta owned platform as an infinite zero return as eventually, you will be banned. Apple leadership is moving in that direction. Nike gets people to play dumbass sports because they sponsor athletes. E-sports grows because it sponsors mathletes. All communities need content creators. Apple should sponsor the fuck out me, not stifle my approval process.

Dana White: Your brand is that you are the fighter's champ. You used to create opportunity that was worth it for fighters to pursue. Now, 5 of your employees have committed suicide. Sorry bro, wages haven't kept pace with inflation, and now you're engaging in Fraud Waste & Abuse while partnering UFC with the two greatest war criminals on earth: trump and bibi?

If you'd hired me the multiple times I applied to work for you, I would've told you this. Just a quick question to illustrate my point: How many other fight leagues exist, and were they allowed to bid on the contract? Why did Elon, Joe Kent, and Tulsi all tap out; while you doubled down?

People joke about how much Donald Trump's popularity changed only after he got into politics. He's either dragging you down with him, or you're standing up for him. However, in this case, he likely engaged you in years of Fraud, Waste, & Abuse lawsuits that aren't worth your time. It doesn't matter what your opinion is. Every liberal fed can attack you now. Get your lawyers ready. Go back to bragging about how overpaid your workers are, not how much taxpayer money was spent, and how many monuments were rented, to bolster your bank account. Every time a future POTUS rents out the Lincoln memorial, you did that.

Internship Request

I'd like to do a revese Rumspringa. I want to do a season Amish.

Once You Go Ballowe,

The Rest Are Through

Lowe's should hire me to perform a 1 day leadership seminar for their leadership team to teach them how to get things done, even in the corporate world.

Freddie Mac should hire me to teach them about The Constitution and ethics.

SECWAR should hire me for a 1 hour seminar on The Constitution, and The Laws Of Armed Conflict as well as how to better use their funding.

Actual conversations:

Directors: We're going to lose tens of millions if this fails!!!! What can we do!!!!!

Me: I can do that myself in half the time and it'll work better, cheaper, and have zero licensing costs.

Directors: There is clearly no solution. Mason, you're fired.

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