Really bad cloud app I'll stop maintaining once my old Apple license expires. 

Amazon S3 cloud parsing app. 

I made this for a DoD client. An 07 USAFA grad was my original contact... He never agreed to pay me, but I just said I can do it in 2 weeks, and did...

I think I would've gotten the gig, but I heard the 3 star was a Marine. Blindly I'd made the loading animation a Marine eating crayons, instead of a rotating circle. The USAF Major almost fell out of his chair during my demo. 

Really bad 2d animation game. 

Rejected by apple for being "obscene" and "realistic violence towards real people" when I tried to rehost it. 

In the game, hooded cultists try to form ranks in front of either shirtless Vlad Putin in a commie hat, Mike Pence, or The Ayatollah Khomenei. Players, as either Borat in his bikini, A rainbow unicorn, or a handmaiden shoot rainbows at the cultists. When 6 cultists form ranks in front of the leader, you lose. 

The sound effects are custom. I was live streaming coding at the time (Sportscenter didn't feature me on its top 10) and someone watching my stream actually sent me a custom rainbow attack sound effect.

When shot with rainbows, the cultists do a dance, say something stupid, and disappear. 

It's clearly not violent, and I made it to learn how animations work. The timing of the rainbows shooting moving cultists was a fun week. It could be repurposed for a basic targeting algorithm to shoot down incoming projectiles.

PS: I'm an ally?

PSS: It's disengeous. I figured a shit 2d game had zero likelihood of sales unless I made it gay as fuck because then it might go viral. I was correct, as it had more sales than any of my other non-marketed products. 

PSSS: The Ayatollah is no longer a concern, Mike Pence got voted out, and Vlad is a gigachad who'd likely find it funny and endorse his depiction. Apple should approve when I try to rehost again.